Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
