It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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