i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
