I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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