Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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