I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
