I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
