Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
