I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
