just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
