belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
