Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize