Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
