I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
