I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
