Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
