No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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