we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i drank out of a bidet.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
