Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
