I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think I just shit out all my problems.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
