Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
