Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
