i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?