I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.