I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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