i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
