Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize