I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
