Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
