He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
