Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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