Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
