Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
