If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
