We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
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the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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