I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
BRING THE BAGELS
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass