she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.