Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm gonna fight the coyote
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize