STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
