You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Holy sore nipples Batman
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
