i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
