Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
