that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
