? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
