I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
