They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
