Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
