Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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