Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
