found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
