I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
