I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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