M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
