hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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