Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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